Tuesday, May 5, 2009

That Dirty Slut Called Mother Nature

I love summer time in Flagstaff. Trees are blooming full of flowers, leaves, pollen and baby birds. The sun has finally broken free of the dismal and perniciously clinging grey spring clouds. The air seems to be full of life in the early summer and anyone with eyes to see can appreciate the new leaf on the tulip that grows on the walk to work or the new nest of sparrows in the blooming tree outside the window. I internally congratulate nature for renewing life so quickly, if my day was half as full of photosynthesis, growing new shoots of grass or building the new nest I would be a millionaire by now.
The other beautiful thing about summer is the simple fact that clothes are completely optional. How many times have you seen a girl sitting outside in naught but her bikini top and "camel toe" accentuating booty shorts? Multitudes I say! Who complains about a little skin they tell me? Men like to see it and women like to show it off, where is the necessity for commentary you ask? Ah my beautiful readers, I will satisfy your morbid curiosity. I like camel toe as much as the next girl, and I have been known to crave rays known to the state of California to cause cancer, but really women should take care what they put on their bodies especially in this trying time of warmth. I know it's tempting to wriggle into that tight fitting tank top that makes you look neck less due your nipples attempting to violently attack your eyes in addition to your miniskirt so short I can see the herpes on your clitoris, but I ask this as a well meaning member of the same sex, please don't. It scares the children.

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